If you think real estate is all velvet couches and custom cabinetry—bless your heart. Let me take you behind the scenes of what really happens before those Pinterest-worthy photos hit the MLS.
Let’s begin with Exhibit A: The Powder Room Surprise. I walked into what was supposed to be a quick pre-listing tour of a modern condo. The owner greeted me, espresso in hand, all casual charm. But when I popped into the guest powder bath—there it was. A neon “flesh light” sitting on the counter like a centerpiece. I slowly backed out, made no eye contact with the item in question, and mentally added “storage solutions” to the staging list.
Then there was the Beardpocalypse Bathroom. I turned the corner into a luxury primary suite and was instantly hit with what can only be described as a beard hair explosion. The sink looked like it had hosted a hedge-trimming party. I politely suggested a deep clean… and maybe a new vacuum filter.
And then… a $1 million masterpiece with jaw-dropping design—except the entire kitchen island was covered in weed. Sprinkle-style. Right next to a tall glass bong. The seller looked at me and asked, “You wanna hit it before we start?” I declined. Politely. But mentally added “lockable drawers” to the list.
Now, hear me when I say this: I’ve seen it all, and I’m not easily rattled. But if you actually want to sell your house? You’ve gotta clean up. Buyers aren’t buying your lifestyle—they’re buying the dream of their own. Let’s help them see it.
